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She took a deep breath. "I freeze up...really badly... down there," she replied. She had certainly been very tight indeed but this surprised me. "The first boy I tried with couldn't get it into me at all. He tried until it hurt us both then got too excited and just came all over me. The second tried so hard he hurt me a lot then just gave up and left me in my room." "That's terrible," I sympathised, meaning it too. After steeling herself to losing her virginity, to have that happen must have been terrible for her self-esteem. "The last one did manage to get inside me but then it happened again. And it hurt like hell and he came straight away.” She shrugged, “I suppose he took my cherry but it didn’t feel like it. Not like it was with you.” I felt ridiculously pleased at these words then immediately felt ashamed of myself, a mature forty-something year old married man who had been seduced by a skinny teenage near-virgin, and one with a problem too. “Who were they all?” I asked,. “Do you,” she asked, “love her?”“No. I’m a bit in awe. She’s so fucking intelligent. She makes me feel stupid.”“She’d never make you feel stupid if you weren’t clever. Has she given you her ‘chain’ line yet?Arguments, essays are chains. You start at one end and make every point forge a link with the next. If you get it right, every link is solid and dependable and you hardly need to write the conclusion because it’s totally fucking obvious and the last link joins the first to make a perfect circle. Miss a link and the whole thing falls apart.”I said that she had.“That’s her problem. She is so forensic. She sees what you know if even if you haven’t written it and then, if you’re bright enough, she cuts you in slices. If you’re dim, she tells you what to do. So, if she makes you feel stupid,” she brushed my long brown hair behind my ear, “it’s because you’re not. Clear?”“As clear as that,” I said, pointing to the murky canal water.She laughed. “Oh no, you understand perfectly. Were you.
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