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So I needed to fill the emptiness. Cocaine made me forget, made me numb, made me wilder than ever. But it became more of a focus than even my music. I stopped thinking except thinking of getting high. I stopped trying except trying to get more cocaine. Only those full moon nights when I crossed the border and joined you and Leo and Jag and became a beast of true nature did I have any joy." Why didn't you say anything?" Kat asked."And bum you out? I could see the joy in your eyes when I came home. The fun we had tying each other up and making each other crazy with lust made my unhappiness unimportant. And seeing our kittens grow in those monthly increments..." The sobs racked her body. "Why did I give you a key to my apartment?" Because you loved it when I came to visit," smiled Kat. "And maybe because I was meant to discover your illness, your addiction, and save you."Trixie chuckled roughly through her choked throat, "You're always right." Not always." Yes always, my brilliant and. I do not love, cherish, admire or trust you. I resent you not for whatyou did but for you now bring out the worst in me. You made me feel likeless of a person, you tried to make me feel like I was not worthy ofyour love. Those are the reasons why I am getting a divorce from you.You should have known this was coming, I told you."Helen knew she did all of those actions but there were great reasonsbehind them. Doug just had to hear those reasons and the lesson and theycan start working out the issues he has about it. She did not like thatwould lead to Marci not coming around for some time but once she gotDoug's love and trust back, she would make Doug bring Marci. Helen wasnot going back to never being the Mistress again. She enjoyed it toomuch. Plus, she should not have to do anything around their house whichshe did not want to, that was what sissy slaves were for.Helen started to explain her actions. "Douglas I only did those thingsfor I love you. It was for your own good to prepare.
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