Maybe it was because I was shy, maybe it was because the crude comments of a past boyfriend still haunted me, or maybe I just didn’t know how to. Maybe I made too big a deal out of it and made it too difficult for myself. That was probably it. It still didn’t make things any easier, though. Three little words and I couldn’t say them. I thought them often. I said them in my mind when I looked at him sleeping next to me, when he cooked in our little kitchen, when he laughed. I thought of the words every single day but they refused to roll from my tongue. I tried to show him every day how I felt. I tried to convey it in every touch, in every word (all but those three he needed to hear) and in every thing I did. ‘I… I…’ I couldn’t even finish the sentence. He sighed and I heard the door close. He had left. I felt my eyes fill with the tears I had refused to let him see. He left for a business trip and would be gone for a week, I missed him already. It killed me to have disappointed. While on the computer I had gotten a private message from a black girl I had a crush on for a while , it was completely random because we only hung out a few times. She was asking to come by my house and it was in the late evening, so most men know exactly what that means, the female wants to be Fucked. I was technically dating the Latina girl I mentioned earlier so I was trying my damn hardest not to cheat on her , so in my twisted mind I invited the black girl over to test my temptations. A friend dropped her off at my house and we hugged and chatted for a while. I took her to my room and we watched Netflix for hours. I was still trying so hard to resist jumping on this girl and pummeling her juicy vagina. She was laying on her stomach to my side watching the television while I was opposite laying on my back mostly staring at her ass. She was wearing tight black pants and her butt was so nice and fit. Her feet were practically by my face still enclosed in her socks. She crossed.
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