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Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?' Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.' DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.' Contestant: 'Brian.' DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.' DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.' Brian: 'Sara.' DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.' DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?' Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?' Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.' Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?. I really felt like I was in heaven. I had won the national lottery a few months earlier and had just bought my dream house – indoor heated pool, large sauna, majestic view of the ocean – perfect. I was trying out the sauna for the first time and was lost in the moment when I heard voices which snapped my attention back to the real world. Two of my step daughters friends turned up uninvited to check out the new house and had let themselves in through the pool door. I had nothing but a towel around me to cover me so checked that it was going to stay around my waist and I ventured out. Hi girls. Kathy isnt here sorry I yelled across the pool. They were surprised to see me and apologised for just walking into the house. Hayley, the cocky one of the two said, Awesome house Mr Naylor! Can we wait here til Kathy gets back?. I said, Sure. The kitchen is at the top of the stairs. Help yourself to anything in the fridge and watch some tele if you like. Make sure you clean up any mess you make.
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