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"Oh, I know you -- Slacker Mike, right?" she said, eyes reflecting a totally phony naivete. "I appreciate your asking me over. I really like your sister. We're really close." Marie had already confirmed that was nowhere near the case, but once a phony, always a phony. I merely nodded, complementing how together she looked right after cheerleader practice."Oh, I got a pass from working out today. I wanted to look good," Candice said, perhaps oblivious how full of shit she sounded. "I will be able to see her, right?" Oh, sure," I said apologetically. "We wanted a friend she could trust, so she could relay her true condition to the other girls." Damn, this girl was making me very, very hard."Here, Candice. Have a glass of my special home-brewed lemonade," my Mom said right on cue. Candice took the ice-filled glass off a sterling silver tray, and since we jacked up the heat in the house, it was an irresistable lure. Candice swigged down half the glass and held on to it in order to finish.. I never quite understood that European tradition. My Italian family members do it, but I would much prefer a kiss on the lips... especially by Linda. I mean, air kissing feels like daylight robbery.“I bet you don’t kiss you fiancée like that, Linda.”“That’s more than he’s getting at the moment.”I sensed an opportunity to dig. “Not happy?”“I wouldn’t say that.”My shop is a hotbed of gossip. I’m sure most of my clients come in here just to bitch about their other halves. The women talk to me as if they have known me all their lives. I have always thought I should have been gay. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. But I do get along with women extremely well, and they tend to treat me more like a woman than a man. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because they think I’m harmless and not a sex pest... if only they had access to my dirty mind... or my hard drive for that matter.Linda is the easiest to get gossip from. She has a few issues in her relationship with Jack. Actually, I’m sure he is.
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