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When I got home that night, I flipped through my rolodex (yes, some people still use those), and made a phone call."Vinny," I said once my erstwhile "buddy" picked up the phone. "Just the man I wanted to talk to." Counselor!" he said. "What's news, my man?" Wanted to ask you the same question. How's business?" Fine, fine. Can't complain." Make any big sales, lately?" All legal, counselor. All legal." Anything I might be interested in?" What kind of things are you into?" he asked. "Besides Catwoman, of course," he laughed, a loud, raspy event that made me worry about his health, just a bit."You run in some pretty heady crowds, Vinny," I said, trying to bring him to the point. "Pretty heady, indeed, for a man of your stature in the world." Counselor, I'm hurt," Vinny said, trying to affect a wounded tone to his voice. "Why would you say such a thing?" Come on," I laughed. "A fine, upstanding citizen like yourself? Why should I be surprised that you have clients such as myself and...". When you’re finished cutting the grass, get a lounger from the shed, and put it in the back yard facing the sun near the pipe. Then you may set up your torment. Once you’re set up, I’ll come outside and if the yard looks nice and everything is satisfactory, I’ll start the torment. After the torment is completed, you are to put everything away, get dressed, put the back yard clippings out on the curb, and leave. Do you have any questions???No Mistress Susan.??Good.? She hung up.Saturday finally came, and I arrived at Mistress Susan’s house right on time. I get her lawn mower from the shed, and start cutting the front yard. I bag the clippings as I cut the grass, and it takes about 45 minutes to finish the front yard. I’m sweaty as I push the lawn mower into the back yard. I go to the shed, get a lawn chair, and bring it back to near the gate. I remove all my clothing, except for my socks and shoes, and put them on a lawn chair by the back gate. I don’t think any of the neighbors can.
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