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Oh, I had some friends, but my social/sexual development was extremely limited to say the least. I really would use much stronger language but why do it. I'm sure that you understand what I mean. There were three things that saved me: my guitar, my youth group, and summer camp. I also developed an interesting quirk: recycling. This will be explained later on and you'll see what I mean.Guitar: When I was 14, I started learning to play guitar. I began with a junky 6 string that served me well and at 16 bought the Yamaha 12 string guitar that remains with me to this day. The Yamaha was bought in New York City. I went into the City BY MYSELF! At the time, this was a very big deal for me. There I was wearing my denim jacket, jeans, black motorcycle boots, and my hat--which was my trademark and remained with me until age 25 when I stupidly gave it to, what else?, a girl (a one night stand who gave me the most amazing blow job). Oh, the jeans also went to a girl (Sue who promised me that. The big guy steps closer and grabs my ass pulling meto him. As I open my mouth to say something we are suddenly in a lip lockand his tongue is in my mouth. I am shocked, unable to react momentarily.I taste his tongue, feel it probing in my mouth. I put my hands up to pushaway and I feel the other guy getting closer. I'm helpless, I am helpless in a way I have never felt before. Not physically helpless,although it would certainly be a battle to get away, but emotionally. Idon't know what to do, how to react, I am so caught off guard, out-of-balance and confused. Time almost stops. I feel myself standing on thesehigh heels, I feel my toes pointed way down, I feel my legs, chest andarms exposed. I smell the slight sent of perfume. I feel my lipstick on mylips. I feel my bracelets fall down my arm as I raise them to push thisguy away. The room feels like it is spinning. The horn starts blowing outside and suddenly I'm back on my own two feet.I fall back a little bit and I can barely.
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