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I figured a dinner wouldn't hurt anything and besides he was a good looking guy and didn't seem at all threatening. I couldn't stay in my one person world forever. I decided to at least go out for a dinner and find out a little more about this man."Okay, Ray, dinner it is. Would you prefer to pick me up here at the office, or meet you at the restaurant?" I asked to meet at the office because I didn't want him at my apartment till I got to know him better, if that was going to happen.I guess I've been hurt too many times and I'm gun shy around new dates. I really wanted a lasting relationship, a husband and family, but just wasn't sure if it was going to happen.Ray turned out to be a real sweetheart. We went to dinner and just talked. I mentioned a little about my life and he was listening to every word. I told him I went to college and about my job and ex-marriage. I didn't tell him about my fear of getting close or the rape in college. I kept it pretty general.He told me about. I crave the electricity that course through me anytime we touch. Every time I’m around you I feel it, like the strongest magnet pulling me to you. My hand twitches and my mind plays visions of pulling you towards me, but I hold it. It has to come from you. Do you feel it? You must, surely it can’t all be me. So far I’ve looked everywhere except straight into your eyes. I’m usually confident to make eye contact with people, taking enjoyment from the power I feel when using that direct approach. I look at your hands, but that doesn’t help me. I look at your lips and that only makes it even worse. Maybe if I could find my voice I could break the tension with my words, but they stick in my throat. I doubt they’d even make sense if they could pass my lips. My mouth has gone dry. My brain is struggling to focus beyond the proximity of you. You’re consuming me and you haven’t even touched me. Part of me wishes you would just reach over and end my torturous wait; yet another wants this.
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