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I dont know if I ever will be. He said softly. I sat up to be level with him. It was hard to be mad at him. He was confused, lost, somewhere between gay and straight and didnt have a compass to help him find the way. And, yet, it was painful to realize that what I felt for him might not be what he felt for me. What was I doing? I was putting myself out there even though I knew it might hurt. So am I just someone that youre experimenting with to figure things out? No! Youre more than that. You say that but how do I know that one day I wont walk downstairs to go to school and find you too embarrassed to talk to me because what weve done? That you wont avoid me? He hung his head and I instantly felt like the worlds biggest dick. Why was I always the dick? I scooted closer to him on the bed and put my arm around him. I resolved to be better, stronger, what he needed me to be. Im sorry. If you need time you can have the time. I said in my most reassuring voice. Thanks. He looked a little. Some of the guys I met were into cyber sex. I went along cause it was kind of exciting, and then over a period of several months I realized many of the guys were older. some of the older guys were pigs but a few were god to me. I enjoyed talking to some of them cause they answered questions about sex for me and weren't always pushing for me to meet up with them. the local web provider had a local teens sight and there were some kewl k**s there, but most were adults trying to act like teens. I enjoyed some of them again but tried to stick with k**s. one guy was always asking how i was doing in school and such and he found out I was on the swim team and since it was a local sight, he figured out who I was by asking me more and more about how I did at the previous nights meets and all and one day he showed up at the school and approached me to ask If I was tommy. I said yes why...(stupid me, I never gave a fake name on the chat room sight) we talked for a while and he finally told me.
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