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The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”The Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”Officer: “Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”“Aggressive and hostile?”“Yes, Sir.“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole?”“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do!”How often does a lawyer get to convict his own client?This one is compliments of BillTwo Irish men were digging a ditch in. " Now he seemed embarrassed. "I wasn't trying to lead you on with that kiss or anything, honest. I definitely wasn't expecting you to kiss me back. I mean, I didn't even know you felt that way about me. Otherwise I would have found a different way to check you out--one that didn't get your hopes all up and everything. I thought you only liked girls." I wasn't--" I mean, I think you're super-sweet, and really cute, and you have an Ami Mizuno t-shirt which I'm totally jealous of but would never ever borrow without asking, I swear, I don't know how that stain got on it--" What--?!" It would just never work between us," he said, and put a comforting hand on her arm. "I'm too engrossed in my important duties right now to have time for a relationship. But hey, maybe you should consider Xander. He's strong, and brave, and handsome…" His voice had quickly become wistful, and he seemed to realize this and hurriedly banished that tone in favour of a more business-like one. "And, um, yeah. Plus,.
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