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I want you and need you to teach me how to be as good a lover as I am a student.” She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She just stared at me with her mouth hanging open for what seemed like forever. I knew I had to wait for her to respond but the wait was excruciating. I almost jumped too soon. She stammered the first few words before she gained some control. “Kenny, I don’t know what to say. I mean I’m flattered that you think I’m beautiful and that you want me to be your first lover. I guess I should have seen it coming. I can be so blind sometimes. But this isn’t right. I’m much older than you and I don’t think your Mom would think very much of me if I did what you’re asking. She trusts me to do what’s right for you and I don’t want to betray that trust. I’m sorry Kenny, but this is something I don’t think I can do for you and I’m really scared that you are going to hate me for not helping.” While I was listening to her tell me how she couldn’t help me I also became. I sat there looking at the once again closed door for the longest time, wondering what the fuck had just happened.One thing's for sure, if anything, our little chat seemed to put additional distance between us. For the next several days we basically avoided one another, though if and when we did sit down together, over dinner ... or later while watching TV, we hardly spoke. And if then, it was usually about the weather, or how her job went that day. Gone was the laughter, the joking, the teasing of one another. And the time sitting near her saying nothing, well like they say, the silence was deafening.It had been like that for nearly a week now, and I was so torn up inside, I was seriously contemplating taking a job elsewhere and then moving out. Get a place of my own, ready or not. I had gone up to my bedroom far earlier on a Friday night than I usually did too, saying goodnight to her, cordially, even finding it awkward when I leaned over kissing her on the cheek. It was as though.
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