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“Cool beans!“ replied Hugh as he hung up the phone and walked into the full service grocery store. “May I help you?” asked the clerk with a nametag on that said “Phil”. “Yes” answered Hugh, “I need some toilet paper for my anus.” “Ok,” replied Phil, “What kind of anus are we talkin’ here?” “Well, it’s a 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and one thirty second native American anus.” “Oh, interesting” said Phil. “Is this a huge anus we’re talking about here?” “Well I’m Hugh Jainus,” replied a slightly flustered Hugh Jainus. “But I don’t have a huge anus. It’s just average.” “Well then, I suggest a aloe lotion three ply all natural recycled unscented roll for you average sized 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and one thirty second native American anus.” offered a confident Phil. “I think you’ll find it a satisfactory paper for you anus.” “Is that a good. “Are you ready to leave?” he asks her. “I haven’t finished my ice cream yet” she says smiling. They wait until she finishes and he doesn’t know how he is standing it sitting there. When she is done she stands and looks at him. “Ready” she tells him. They walk out hand in hand and once out the door she leans in and kisses him. They continue walking and she holds onto his hand a little tighter every once and awhile. It isn’t long before they get back to the house. Once inside she leads him up to the bedroom and sits him on the bed. She kisses him passionately and soon he is lying on his back and she is on top of him kisses him. After a long time of passionate kissing she stops and looks at him. She smiles at him and he almost melts. “Since I know you worry that you will not satisfy me. Since you worry that you won’t know what to do. I will take over. From now on I am in charge and you will do everything I say. You will also take everything that I give you.” Sitting on him she.
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