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I was sad she was leaving me, and glad too. But I wasn’t jealous when I thought of her with the other girl; I mean, two young women making love just seems cute and harmless compared to the way her and I fuck each other.I sat up and hugged her, so she was sitting on my thighs with her legs around my back. Breast to breast, face to face, we kissed and my cock was way up inside her, and it wanted to just stay there.She was lying; the girl loves me, or this wouldn’t be possible. I mean, she might love that Maliah more, maybe she doesn’t want to be in love with an uneducated white guy my age. But sex isn’t like that without the emotional component. I don’t have a degree, but I know that much.We did it for a long time; touching, kissing, feeling each other. Her skin so smooth, so sexy, her tight curves and tight cunt killing me with lust and love.I had a weird thought, that if I was fertile and I knocked her up, she would stay with me. Bullshit for sure, but I know some of my relationships. I decided to just give up sex altogether. I didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. All it caused me was pain anyway. First my husband then my lover, my own son, I started to feel dirty about what I had done with Brad. I should have resisted him the first time. I should have gotten up and run away from him, but I guess you can’t live on should haves. It has been almost a year since I decided to go into celibacy. I feel like a stranger in my own home. My son and husband now get along wonderfully, but not one of them come to talk to me, unless they want something passed at the dinner table. I guess that this is my punishment for not giving either one of them all that they wanted, and I guess it is what I deserve. I watch both of the men in my life talk to each other softly enough to where I can’t hear them. Every once in awhile one will glance at me, or they both will at the same time. I wonder when they talk like this if they are planning my fate. Thinking of ways to get rid of me.
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