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I tell myself Im going to be better, but next thing I know, Im back to the same old habits. Im sorry-I know you care about me, and just want to help me. I just honestly dont know how, because everything I have tried myself has obviously failed. She paused, and looked up at him. Apologizing had never been easy for her when it came to admitting to her own faults. She nervously waited for him to speak, trying to read the look on his face. When he didnt speak, she continued. Will you please help me? Ill accept whatever methods you think will work. I trust you. Tom couldnt hold back a little sardonic grin. I know that was hard for you. I just want you to understand the consequences of your carelessness, rather than shrugging them off. Were planning on starting a family someday, and if we want to do that, we need to make sure were financially stable. I refuse to live how my parents did-always overextending themselves, and never knowing if there was going to be enough money to put food on. Why should I believe that you suddenly find me desirable?" "Michael, you're not hearing me. My indifference to sex had nothing to do with you. It was about my own insecurity. I felt old and ugly." "You called me an overweight, bald headed old man who could never attract another woman." "God dammit, Micheal, I didn't mean that!" "You said it!" I sighed. "And I can't stop hearing you say it and I can't stop seeing Fischer kissing you on our front lawn." "Michael, I screwed up. I screwed up badly. I made a mistake. It was a big mistake. We all make mistakes. You have to forgive me." "Are you going continue seeing Fischer?" There was a long pause. Finally Jeanne said, "No, of course not. I really don't want to lose you over this." "But you'd like to keep seeing him." "Michael, what do you want me to tell you? Do you want me to lie?" "No, but that last statement makes me believe that I can never again trust you." "Michael, I promise I'll stop seeing him. As soon as we're finished talking.
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