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Even my name begins with J. Hi, I’m John, but everyone calls me Jack and you can, too. It all started when my friend Dave e-mailed me that he was coming to Boston. I was really excited. Dave and I were best friends from kindergarten and I haven’t seen Dave in three years, since he left the neighborhood to follow his passion in Hollywood, California. Dave is a talented guy. He’s a gifted artist. He works for the movie industry. He does makeup. Only, Dave’s not a cosmetologist. Dave doesn’t do the eye shadow and lip gloss type of makeup, he does the special character makeup. He didn’t even go to school to learn this. He’s self-taught. He’s a genius when it comes to this stuff. I envy him to be so young and so talented. Dave was the only one of our my friends who didn’t go to college, yet he already has an aspiring career and makes more money in one year than I imagine I’ll make with my accounting degree and working in my accounting career in ten years. He makes me wish that I was. Don’t you see the size of the rock on her finger. And she seems like a really classy chick.”If he could revert to adolescence, then so could I.I added, “A woman like her probably has kids and she would never fuck around on her family.” I said that with conviction because I knew it and believed it. He gave me a condescending laugh and said, “Want to bet? Those are the ones who are the easiest.”That seriously pissed me off. I said with some heat, “Why in the world would I bet on the fidelity of some poor woman - with a person I don’t even know.” He grabbed my hand, pumped it, and said, “Mike Harper, pleased to meet you. Now how much do you want to bet?”What is it with these simple minded assholes? Life is just a game with them. Every guy in the treehouse is a friend. And every woman is a conquest. I should have told him right away that I was Janet’s husband. Anything other than that was morally reprehensible.But, Janet was the one who had inflicted this douchebag on me. I hate reunions.
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