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Why was it that all the men in my family always greeted me with a scowl instead of a smile? ‘He’s not happy with you.’ Dylan said instead of a warm ‘hello.’ ‘I know he’s not happy with me, but he’s going to have to deal.’ I was starting to get angry at the male highhandedness. He looked down his nose at me. ‘That boyfriend of yours is not happy with you either. I’M not happy with you.’ ‘Like I care. I believe the man in the bed has something to say to you. You’re supposed to be questioning him, not bullying me.’ Dylan gave a disdainful sniff and turned toward the bed. His partner, silent and standing in the corner viewed me with amusement. She had laughing eyes as they traveled back to my cousin. A question suddenly came into them as she watched her partner talk with Justin. She meandered over to me and stood beside me. ‘Hi!’ Her voice was cheery for a police officer. Maybe a sunny disposition was her way of coping with her everyday reality? ‘I’m Bethany, Beth for short. I’m. Being plain spoken, they are inclined to call a spade a spade!”The Mother Superior drew herself up to her full 5 foot height, and returned, “You know that’s bullshit! They call it a fucking shovel!”More from St John Jokes“Hey, Domino’s. I got your pizza and there ain’t any toppings ... no nothin’ ... it’s like only just bread!” “Please give us your phone number and street address”. “Never mind ... I opened the box upside down!”My neighbour. She’s single. She’s shapely. She’s beautiful and she lives right across the street.I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door. I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about.
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