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Pepsi’s ad campaign claims it will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink. This additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount & Do.JOHNNY SAYS: Daddy, how was I born?DADDY SAYS: Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared and said: “You’ve Got Male!”A cowboy at a bar in Great Falls, Montana, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking. A roommate was a necessity for Amy to make ends meet.When she asked about me, I gave her a mixture of fact and fiction. I was an only child which was true. Both my parents dying in an auto accident from a drunk driver when I was nineteen was false. I never married was true."Growing up alone and losing your parents, it's no wonder you lived in a shell for so long," Amy sympathized.I regretted lying but the truth would only encourage her to tell me to see a doctor again and this time it would be a head doctor. I was in crazy, unbelievable circumstances, but I didn't need a shrink. Of course if I was crazy how would I know?At the movie theater, I immediately missed the modern arena-style seating. As the film ran, I recalled the plot. It was a manipulative tearjerker that won the Best Picture award and I didn't like it any better this time. When we left the theater and Amy still sobbed, I wondered if it was such a good idea to take her to such a movie. It didn't leave a happy first date.
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