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‘Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road when this huge Maclean potato truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘Mr. Drover, how are you feelin’?’... ‘Now yer honor, wot da fock would you say?’“Beer Stories”Three friends are sitting around their favorite pub. The first guy says “Hey guys, I know this other bar where you go in and. " I said quickly to try and defuse her embarrassment."What's S&M?" Sarah asked."Sado and Masochism. It's where people tie each other up and wear leather outfits and stuff. It can get really heavy and hardcore. They sometimes use whips and candles and stuff. I'm not really interested in it." I said and then realised it might be something Sarah might want to try, "Unless you want to try it of course, then I might give it a go." No, I don't think so. I've sometimes thought of being tied up in my bed but Joe was so set in his ways it wouldn't have really made much difference." She said, almost begging me to suggest it."Maybe you'll have your thoughts come true sooner than you thought." I said and winked to her as she looked at me through her almost empty wine glass. "Do you want another drink?" I asked getting up and going over to her.She tipped the glass up and finished what was left and handed it to me. "I might as well. I don't think I can feel any higher than I am at the moment. Are.
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