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I'll be styling your hair. You can call meKay." She walked over to me and shook my hand."Hello, Kay. Nice to meet you," I said, taking her hand."You look very pretty, Melissa. When I'm through with you, you'll have tokeep the boys off with a stick."I just looked down, embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I always say that kind ofthing to the girls who look nervous. I didn't mean anything by it."Without thinking, I answered "That's OK, Kay. I like boys." It didn'tdawn on me until then that I never told my mom that part. My mom looked alittle shocked and there was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.Susan broke it up by saying a little joke and we all laughed. Susan ledmy mom to a chair and Kay led me to one."I'm so sorry if I embarrassed you, Melissa." You don't have to apologize, Kay. It never really came up for somereason. I guess my mom had to figure that out sooner or later." Well, thank you Melissa. Now, what should we do with your. I try to time my jerk to hit Judy in the face while she is onscreen, but I’m too slow and I nail Bert the bailiff instead. It’s not my fault the mutt is dumb enough to stand that close to me, so I grab him and use him to clear the screen. Pat mutters something about lawyers on his way out to her job at Hooters. I doze off on the couch from such a rough morning. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! What the fuck? I ask myself, when did Pat install a solid brass door knocker? Nothing worse than Tuesday morning Jehovah Witnesses, and I’ve had it up to here with them. The pellet gun I stole from my grandma looks just like a real .45, so I sling open the door and take a shot. Instead of white-shirted Jesus freaks running for their lives, Olga just winces and rubs her forehead. I think I made her angry. “Here for to clean da place.” she grunts. “please to tuck gonads in.” I grab my machinery with both hands and leverage it all back into my leopard print speedo. Olga is staring at what looks.
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