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When i got back home i fed it and left the back door open for it to play in the garden, i had a shower and came down and put some washing on, the dog came running in and started running around me and sniffing my bare legs as i had only my dressing gown on, i shoed it away and got on with the washing, next thing it started humping at my leg i pushed it away and it scratched all my leg, i thought what have i let myself in for here, i locked it in the garden and got dressed and finished the washing off.When the washing was done i opened the door to peg it out the dog was running around next thing i knew it started humping my leg again, i gave it a crack on the nose and it stopped humping.Later that evening i was sat watching the tv with a bottle of wine the dog was asleep on the floor when my friend Michelle rang me to see if everything was ok, i said fine but you did not tell me it keeps humping your legs, she laughed and said don't let it catch you on your knees i laughed and said i. As I reached the level of the inside floor, I gave her a hard shove in the back with my left hand, letting her fall into the sofa.I played off my behavior by saying, "Gosh, are you ok? Sorry for being so rough but we were both falling backward and I figured the sofa was a much betterlanding spot, ha ha." She grinned in half disbelief and nodded. "Good, I'll catch my breath from saving your life and you can feel free to do a walk through", I replied.She walked down the hall, obviously impressed. As she reached the end of the hall and was looking into the main bedroom, she asked, "This bed is very high, is it difficult to get in and out of? She hadn't realized that I had quietly slipped up behind her as I replied, "There's a trick to landing on the bed, let me show you".Totally startled, hearing my voice directly behind her, she spun around with a fearful look on her face. But she had no time to react. Two hard punches to her gut, and her dentures flew out of her mouth. As she was.
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