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“Whassup Big Ed?”“May and me were thinking about going on a date, and wanted to know if you and Nazz wanted to come with us.”“Nazz dumped me bro. Your cunt sister recorded me cheating on her at my party and shown it to her.”“Kevin! Why’d you do that, man?”“I got sick and tired of not getting laid, bro. A man can only wank it for so long. I’m 22 for Pete’s sake!”“I get it. I don’t know this Pete guy, but maybe she’s not the chick for you, bro.”“I got something for your sister, so be prepared. Just letting you know. She needs to grow up.”“C’mon Kevin, you know I can’t let you actually hurt her.”“Not like literally hurt her, I’m not stupid.”“Well have fun, then. Catch ya later,” he hung up.Marie walks out of the garage, taking her break, “whassup Ed?”“Kevin just told me Nazz broke up with him because my sister showed her a video of him cheating at his party.”“What!? She recorded that?!”“Yeah, sounds like her, don’t it?”“That bitch recorded me last night?!”“You’re the one he cheated on. Sometimes the simplest of things can bring great joy.The Law of Unintended Consequences kicked in with a vengeance. Colin left me a message to check yesterday’s edition of the London Times. There, on the front page, was the Queen, holding the portrait I’d done of her and her dog from thirty years ago. The story was ten columns long, singing my praises. It was almost embarrassing. It got worse when the Queen said she’d allow both paintings to be shown in the National Gallery for a limited time. Then they would disappear from the public eye, back into her private collection.There was another photo, of Katie presenting the portrait to the Queen. Rumor ran rampant as to who the child was, after all it was the second time she had appeared with the Queen. One journalist almost got it right, saying she was the daughter of the artist, Damon Dawes, and the up and coming children’s writer Sisoban O’Mallory. Wonder what Sissy thought when she read that?The portraits hung in the National Gallery.
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