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Her hands covered her blushing face. “Maddi, we need to get married soon. We can’t keep messing up our purity like this. We’re breaking God’s heart.”“I know, honey. I know.” Maddi cooed in the girl’s trembling ear. “Just trust me, okay? Everything’s under control.” She kissed her cheek.“Everything’s under control.” She muttered to herself, leaning her full weight on the door. Maddi’s bony knuckles popped and snapped as she flexed her hands. A few minutes passed before the deadbolt clicked and signaled Maddi to be ready herself. Her head tilted up as the door opened— she didn’t expect her receiver to be so tall.“Oh,” Maddi said, surprised. “Hey, Christy. Is Diana home?”Christy Masters playfully tossed her greying blonde curls behind her shoulder then her eyes shifted in contemplation. “Nah, she went to school already.”“I know,” Maddi sighed. She sucked her teeth before continuing. She found biting her lip a practical method of curbing the frustration conversations with Christy. Doesn’t really make sense to buy the most expensive one now does it? Don’t buy the most expensive urn either. For God’s sake, someone might end up thinking it’s a really nice tea container and use your ashes to brew some very nasty tea. But lets hope this doesn’t happen. Instead I suggest getting the cheapest thing to hold your ashes, a ziplock bag will do. You sure as hell won’t know the difference. And instead of displaying your remains like some morbid trophy, have your family properly dispose of it. Bottom of a trashcan will do. Or if for some sick reason they want a cooked relative in the house have them dig a hole in the backyard and dump what’s left of you in it. But remember, it is illegal, so be discrete. Please, do not have them dump your ashes in a public place, not only is it a contamination but it’s just plain gross. If you feel you need your ashes to be free of it’s earthly confinement then pick a nice flower bed at home, you’ll be good fertilizer for the plants. There.
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