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What happened? He tasered himself in the balls. The taser he stuffed into his pants accidentally discharged into his groin while he was trying to steal a portrait of Tipper Gore, causing him to suffer a fatal heart attack. Heck of an obituary. 2 weeks ago, he was acting tough on social media ... my vote for this year’s Darwin Award!✧ ✧ ✧GOOGLE Pizza (phone order conversation)Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?No sir – it’s Google Pizza.I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.OK. I would like to order a pizza.Do you want your usual, sir?My usual – you know me?According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.OK – that’s what I want.May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?What? I detest vegetables!Your. I concentrated and suddenly the sound of a dog barking interrupted the scene. The beast spun and headed off towards the sound. Apparently it thought that its missing quarry had disturbed the dog. I shifted myself into the scene and another young boy, about the same age, popped up from behind the neighbor's hedge, ran up behind the boy, and crouched next to him. I had used two of my favorite comic strip hellions as models. Sort of a Dennis meets Calvin look, but without Joey or the tiger."Hey! Can I play too?" I asked in a whisper.The boy gasped and spun to face me, if anything he was even whiter than before. Apparently he wasn't expecting me, go figure. "Wh-wh-Who are y-y-you? Wh-wh-what do you m-m-mean?" My name is Davey," I answered. "You're playing hide and seek with your dog right?" My d-d-dog? Th-that's not my d-d-d-og!" he answered in a shaking voice. "I-i-it's-s-s a-a-a-a monster!" A monster!" I exclaimed. "Cool! Where did you get him?" Wh-wh-what a-are you t-talking ab-bout?.
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