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. and when I wake up later on in the night - woken by the light I left on - my sheets are bloodstained and my arm is bleeding again.***It's difficult to think clearly about my condition. Sometimes I can manage it, but the whole thing often completely overwhelms me. It's just such a massive complication to what would otherwise be a nice, simple, boring life. I suppose it brings a bit of interest and excitement, but not of the sort I'd really like.It's hard, knowing you'll never be normal. Never be happy. I'm going to live my entire life inside this cage, and I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it at all.***I don't go out Friday night (where would I go?), so I stay in and watch the television. After about an hour I switch it off in anger; I can't stop feeling jealous towards the women on TV.***I wake up Saturday morning feeling a little better. I check the cuts on my right arm (on the upper arm, from Thursday - I'd cut high up to avoid detection - and on the forearm, from last. The following day Dantes presented Jacopo with an entirely new vessel, accompanying the gift by a donation of one hundred piastres, that he might provide himself with a suitable crew and other requisites for his outfit, upon condition that he would go at once to Marseilles for the purpose of inquiring after an old man named Louis Dantes, residing in the Allees de Meillan, and also a young woman called Mercedes, an inhabitant of the Catalan village. Jacopo could scarcely believe his senses at receiving this magnificent present, which Dantes hastened to account for by saying that he had merely been a sailor from whim and a desire to spite his family, who did not allow him as much money as he liked to spend; but that on his arrival at Leghorn he had come into possession of a large fortune, left him by an uncle, whose sole heir he was. The superior education of Dantes gave an air of such extreme probability to this statement that it never once occurred to Jacopo to doubt its accuracy. The.
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