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I bury my facein the pillow. I don't even understand what she said, and yet it made meheart wrenchingly sad."Sweety, you need to start getting a grip," she says. "I promise to keeptelling you the truth, but I'd like you not to melt into a puddle of tearsevery time I tell you what's going on. Okay?"I will try. I try to stop my sobbing. I take a deep breath. I wipe myeyes. I remember feeling like this a long time ago, when I was a littleboy. I remember crying when my father went to work, leaving me alone. Iremember how monumental that fear was, and deep the sadness of being awayfrom him was, of being alone. I remember crying so much that I would fallasleep exhausted lying just inside the front door, like a dog curled upand waiting for its master.I am an adult now. She is right. I need to get myself together. I am stilla man, less of one, but still a man. I can do this. I can have aconversation without exploding into tears. I laugh at myself."That's better," she says. "Laughs are always. I played with them fora bit longer and made sexy poses in the mirror. No wonder Dan got soturned on. I might not have described myself as a babe, but to aneighteen year old boy I was a wet dream! Fuck, I thought to myself. Therewas no way I was going to be anything BUT horny with these fucking pills.I went into my parents bedroom and went through their drawers until Ifound my mom's underwear. I spent some time trying on various pieces andmodelling them to myself in my parent's full length mirror. I feltashamed doing it but couldn't help myself.Over time, I found the undergarments weren't fitting me as well as theydid. My chest was shrinking and I was growing taller. I guess I got thehorniness out of my system. Replacing my mother's underwear, I went backto the bathroom and turned the shower on with the water cold and jumpedin.The changes accelerated as my chest flattened and I rose up closer to theshower head. Before long I had my dick and balls back......The next morning, instead of.
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