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. but love sometimes requires some sacrifice. I am not that man. I'm not jealous, but I must be first ... and in this situation I'd never be first. Why couldn't I be first? Jeanie was arguing the point with her older sister because she thinks she loves me...Do I really want to start down this road? Do I really want to take that chance again? I don't know, do I? I'll always be looking in if I don't try to climb through the window...As my mind did battle with itself, I sunk down into the two-seat glider situated at the end of the porch. As my headache coursed through my brain, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I was so tired of fighting myself; I felt like I was on a treadmill, running as hard as I could and getting nowhere.I had sunk the past three months of my life in my revenge. I had lived in there, reveled in it and meanwhile my life had stopped, ended. I was in the same spot now as I had been three months ago. Was it worth it? Had I accomplished anything?Yes. I had to be. They all got together once in a while for a girls’ night out. Nina told me I must be one special guy, she has never seen Jen so happy. I have to admit that made me feel pretty damn good. I did dance with Nicole and Jen danced with Marty. He was the only one that bothered me seeing him with Jen. It was like he was trying to put the make on her or something. I didn’t trust the guy. On top of that, Nicole was very suggestive to me. She didn’t come out and say it but if I was reading her right, she was telling me she would have an affair with me if wanted. As I said, it might just be my thinking and I didn’t want to upset Jen, but I didn’t trust either Nicole or Marty. When I danced with Jen again I did mention how it looked like Marty was trying to put the make on her. She laughed and said, ‘That’s just the way he is. I don’t think he means anything by it.’ ‘I’m willing to bet if you agreed, he’d jump your bones in a heart beat. I don’t trust him,’ I replied. ‘No need to worry, Nicole’s.
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