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I used to be able to read his mind and know what he was thinking without question. Now I find myself stumbling for words and quick responses to his questions. I doubt my answers, hoping they are what he is looking for when I used to just know. Just last night he said, “You’re too emotional, relax slut” but those words alone were enough to send a fresh stream of tears down my cheeks. He knows me, inside and out, through and through, as if no time has passed between us and I ache to belong to him again. In my heart, I know that I never stopped belonging to him … that even in his absence, he was here with me. But I still long to proudly wear his steel again, to have that something that I can reach up and grab a hold of and be reminded in some small, self-absorbed way of being able to physically be reassured that I am, indeed, his. I think of the things he has noticed and pointed out to me already, small changes that I hadn’t really noticed myself but once pointed out, embarrassed. He put the bags of clothes in the living room under the futon where they would be out of the way. Having his daughter move into the house was going to be rough. Two bedrooms were not enough for a house with a teenage girl, a teenage boy, and a middle-aged man.The next few hours were spent getting a new bed for Bill. The three of them had gone to one of the large furniture warehouses in town and picked out a simple bed for Bill. Realizing that they didn’t have any kind of dresser drawers in which to store their clothes, Jerry bought three ‘assemble your own’ dressers. Jerry had to pay a young man with a pickup truck to deliver the bed to the house since he couldn’t wait three days for the store to deliver the furniture.It was close to dinnertime when they finished moving furniture into Bill’s bedroom. Jerry looked over at Bill and asked, “Are you up for Mexican food?”Bill answered, “Of course I am.”Turning to look at his daughter, Jerry asked, “How about you?”“Yes, I can do with some.
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