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“Audio, processor, software, programming, like that?”“That’s it, you got it.”“What?”“All of it,” she said. “I think you’re back to the drawing board.”“Really that bad?”“Well, I’m paraphrasing, but Minacou said something to the effect that any dolphin that sounded like that had to have been dead for a few weeks. That’s when your boy really started to simmer.” Actually the dolphin had told her, “Think sound like one go land before. Long before. Not know, not hear one talk after go land.”Jerry laughed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this about a dolphin, but she does have a way with words.”“She does. But seriously, Jerry, I think you’re going at this all wrong. Have you ever heard a bagpipe play?”“A what?” he asked, started at the seeming non sequitur.“Bagpipe. Scots instrument, you know. Ugly as homemade sin, always reminds me of fingernails on a blackboard. Ever hear one?”“Sure, but what’s that got to do with it?” he asked.“The first thing you notice about a bagpipe is the drone note,. Yeah, probably the later. She was probably shitfaced already. Then she would go home, sleep it off, wake up and paint.The minivan disappeared down the road. I watched it go and thought, sure, I’d bang a forty year old. Or however old she was.My dick burned when I peed for the next two days. It was troublesome. But they called me fairly promptly and told me negative on the big-deal diseases (you know what I’m talking about). I was all in the clear. Brie suddenly pitied me. It was as if she felt like it was her fault for my discomfort when urinating. I told her in an abstract sense it was, but who cared. In a literal sense, it just meant we couldn’t have sex. She told me that when she got tested she didn’t have to suffer the pee-burning that guys did. It was the one thing in life that apparently went easier for girls than guys.But a burning dick, of course, only meant no intercourse. So after I was given the medical go-ahead, I ended my dry spell by careening my tongue around Brie’s.
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