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.. depending on your viewpoint) vampire telenovela of a film series made it all the funnier, especially coming from a real ‘vampire.’ “So, you won’t start sparkling like a faceted crystal when exposed to sunlight?”“Hardly. It is razher like an accelerated form of vhat you Dunkarians call sunburn, except ve rapidly progress from your level one burns to lewel sree and four degree burns in mere moments from exposure to a star such as zhe von in zis system. Vizh longer exposure, organ, muscle, tendon, and skeletal damage iz qvuite rapid. It is not, as you Dunkar say, a pretty vay to go.”“Well, if we ever go visiting Earth together, we’ll go at night or pick you up some serious SPF 100! Or do you guys have something like that already?”“The star that our home vorld rewolwes around is vhat your scientists vould call a Class M star, which has a lower mass and solar luminosity to your star, so vhen our kind first explored ozher solar systems, ve vhere prepared vhis our own radiation blocking. I like Earth and its people. I plan to retire here and raise a family. When I die, I want to leave the Earth a better place for my descendants than it was when I arrived here.“One advantage of being the Ambassador to Earth is that I can use my position to provide Earth with what it needs to survive the culture shock of its relationship with the Multiverse.“In my professional opinion, Earth needs the Multiverse as much as the Multiverse needs Earth, so the only viable option for Earth’s survival was for me to register Earth with the D-Hopping Guild. However, there are rules and guidelines that must be complied with in registering a planet and its universe with the Guild. If a D-Hopper decides to register a planet, he must first determine if its inhabitants are compatible with Multiverse humanity and capable of adapting to the Multiverse’s culture. If they are compatible and can adapt, then the D-Hopper can register the universe and planet with the D-Hopping Guild. The D-Hopper that.
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