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With a sigh, I returned to sorting receipts and tried not to think about Olivia going down on me, going down on Olivia, licking her breasts... Mondays are the worst at some offices. At others, it's Wednesdays. At mine, it's Friday - Hellday. It's the day our dimwitted group vice president suddenly realizes that all the things we peons have spent the week telling him are important really are significant and decides to deal with everything at once... resulting, of course, in nothing getting done. For which we are blamed - by him.This particular Friday was worse than most. For one thing, I was out of ground coffee and thus reduced to using instant; worse still, it was Folger's. To compound things, one of the kittens - Drat, of course - had somehow extricated a ball of twine (used for tying newspapers into recyclable bundles) from a closed drawer in the kitchen, which meant I had approximately 2.5 miles of sisal twine decorating the living room. I was not a happy camper.And I was out of. The best answer to massed infantry or cavalry is a group of catapults firing baskets of loose rocks. Of course, to get them to mass up and not move around, we would really need some strong walls to hold them out, but the town was working on that. And, to take out pirate ships before they land their troops, the best tool is a catapult or trebuchet throwing a heavy-duty barrel full of hot oil followed by an arrow-engine with flaming arrows.I knew I could build a trebuchet. They were simple; they just had to be huge to do any good. The counterweight had to be enormous in order to lift the payload against the leverage. And the counterweight had to move through as long a drop as possible, to let gravity accelerate everything enough for the payload to go flying.The recreations at the European castles had pivot points 20 or 30 feet up in the air. The counterweight could easily be a couple of tons, and the launcher end could be 30 or 40 feet long. Build it that big, and whatever was launched.
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