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’ ‘Of course I am.’ I gave him my usual cocky grin, the one that irritated the hell out of people. ‘Um.. Sara, could we talk?’ ”Course we could. We’re talking aren’t we?’ ‘I mean seriously.’ ‘Oh, you mean you telling me I’m amazing is not serious talk? Okay, I guess I could live with that’ I said shrugging my shoulders, still grinning. Lucien sighed. It was his usual sigh whenever I was being impossible. I grinned wider at that. ‘Why did you kiss me just now?’ he asked softly. My grin abruptly disappeared and I started to blush. I couldn’t meet his eyes. ‘I didn’t kiss you,’ I protested. ‘Okay, you want to be technical about it, I’ll rephrase my question. Why did you kiss my hair while I was sleeping on the sofa just now? Clear enough?’ ‘Except you weren’t sleeping, were you? You were playing possum. Why? Were you hoping I’d go further and maybe kiss you somewhere else? So that if anything happened, you could say you were innocent and accuse me of seducing you? Is that it?’ I was. A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:“ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco”These are.
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