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"Huh," I mumbled. It was 3:15 A.M."Well, uh, if you're taking off now... do you want company?" Sure," I said, grabbing my coat. I considered saying "I never do this," since I don't. Well, not THAT often anyway. Then I had these strange thoughts flashing through my mind. Why should I care what Bob thinks? Come to think of it, how will he know? I shrugged those thoughts off and concentrated on important topics--like how big was Basil's boner?When we reached his car, it was a Lexus... this guy's driving a Lexus! Basil stumbled a little then looked at me like I was a gift-wrapped box that might just contain a human head. Or was that the beer and wine affecting my vision?"Actually, I don't think tonight's going to work," he said as he backed up a step away from me, turned to his right, then threw up on his shoes.Thank God I moved aside in time. Wiping his mouth with the tissues I offered him, he said, "I'm sorry. I... I have to get up early tomorrow." That said, he lumbered into the nearby. My sharply focused twin-lenses saw the truth. The inspection and my enthusiasm caused him to continue with the next bit, “They released me after that. Yeah, mom picked me up that same night all bandaged up. I seen this other dude a few weeks later at the store and he tells me that the guy that jumped me had his fucking face disfigured with boiling baby oil. Ya know on movie night the counselors bust out wit’ de popcorn. Well he put a cup of baby oil in the microwave behind de popcorn bag. He snuck the shit into the activity room because it looked like water. When the three minutes went beep , he pulled the popcorn out with one hand, baby oil cup in the other, and slung it across the couch and hit three motherfuckers with it. He melted ‘em.” “No shit.” “Fuck. One guy had his eyelid melted, another almost lost an ear and shit.” “Where’s the beer?” I said as I was trying to run from his sight. He started to explain how he had been "holding the same fucking beer can all.
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