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And things haven’t been good at all with my third husband these past 8 or 9 years. As in, I can barely stand him, and I have a separate bedroom. But my second divorce nearly bankrupted me, so I won’t go through that again in a third divorce. I love sex and still want it and need it, so I’ve had a series of lovers over the last few years. The latest, Dave, has been sweetly and wonderfully banging me for about two years now. (I also have my first-ever female lover these past 6 months, but that’s for another story). One drawback to affairs is I have to spend holidays with family, so the true holiday with my lovers has always had to be the day before or the day after, not on the holiday itself. So yesterday, I decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day with Dave a day early. I slipped into a black miniskirt, matching black blouse, black fishnet stockings, black high heels, no bra or panties. My intent was to get my Valentine’s banging before I had to go to work for the day. My husband didn’t. “We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at the convent, we call it ‘Catholic shampoo.’” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “The curlers are on the house.”Compliments of the ‘Shy One’A beautiful young lady had a very nice boyfriend. The boyfriend had to go on a business trip that would require him to be gone for about a month, so he asked his lovely girlfriend if she would mind taking care of his parrot while he was away. So she said of course not.The first morning that the parrot was at her place, she walked past his cage on her way to the bathroom. The parrot commented, “My, what a pretty pair of blue panties.” The girl was a little taken aback that a parrot could distinguish colors like that. Just to check on whether he actually could tell the difference in colors, she wore yellow panties the.
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