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Have an understanding that I do the pleasuring and he is the one who gets to be pleasured. Details of what we do next, how he wants me to behave, what attitude I will have and when and how it should change. The games we play, how and when he wants to touch me, the toys he gets to use on me, the scenes we play out, situations we role play; he gets to dictate all our sexual interactions. And he gets off on having that power over me. He feels comfortable telling me any dirty little craving he has. With no self consciousness, no embarrassment, no holding back of dark fantasies. As I continuously do what he says throughout the night, his confidence builds. It's hard to be embarrassed in front of someone after you bend him over, put a butt plug in him, make him crawl to you and give you a blowjob while you call him your slave, your whore, your bitch, and bark directions at him until you cum on his face. If he parties, all the better. He can party as much as he needs to to get to. About and hour later I was in bed and Brad had already left. I thought about what it would be like to give a blow job. Thinking about it, I started to get hard. I grabbed my shaft and started stroking myself. Again the orgasm had my body numb. I had only experienced this when I masturbated thinking about something gay. Now I really started to wonder if I was gay, or at least bi. Brad came back and as usual stayed quiet thinking I was sleeping. He stripped off all of his clothes and got in bed. And as he did every night, he started masturbating and I watched. I don't know what made me do this. It was like I had no control over myself. I blurted out, "How about I give you that blow job now?" As soon as I said that my stomach sank and I saw him stop masturbating. The room was motionless for what seemed like forever. He finally then said, "Well what are you waiting for?" I couldn't believe this. Again it's like I had no control over what was happening. I got out of my bed and walked over.
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