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‘What on earth is he doing?’ I thought as I watched him pull out a pair of Ray Bann sunglasses and a snapback then walked back over to me. ‘What on earth is that for?’ ‘So that nobody recognizes me. I really don’t want to be harassed today while I’m with you. Now on to the nearest Starbucks!’ he said pointing down the street. I laughed and started walking. ‘Yes she finally cracks a smile at me!’ he teased. ‘Oh ha ha. Like I told you earlier just be thankful I haven’t tried to murder you yet.’ I laugh as we dodge the early morning joggers. ‘I told you I was sorry for waking you up.’ ‘I’m kidding jeez calm down.’ I laugh again at the look on his face. We walked into the busy Starbucks and weaved our way through people waiting on their drinks up to the front counter. ‘Hi Zai you want your usual?’ Tina, my favorite barista asked me when we got up to the register. ‘Yup and my friend here wants a…’ I started off before turning toward Tyler who was staring at me. ‘Umm can I have. I'm probably not being fair calling Harold a simple-minded stupe. With any other woman he would probably catch on pretty quick, but Harold loves me, worships the ground I walk on, and he'll believe anything that I tell him.It all started because I got to feeling sorry for myself. Harold is a good man, a loving husband and a great provider, but he is an absolute zero in bed. When I'm older maybe what Harold is will be good enough for me, but not now while I'm young and in my prime. I want and need sex and I just don't get it from Harold. A two-minute quickie and he rolls off and is snoring before I even know he's out of me. After five years of that I was so sexually frustrated that I was ready to take a meat axe to Harold while he was sleeping and hope that a jury wouldn't convict after they heard the story. One day I was over at my friend Marge's and we got to drinking. The more I poured down my throat the more talkative I became and soon I was telling Marge about my non-existent sex.
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