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" Jacob?" Yes sir. Jacob is my civilian son." This is a bit irregular. But since the good pastor has all ready sent in his report, I can accept it. Just make it brief." Thank you sir." I went over to the bridge's communications station. "Ensign, can you reach this frequency?"The ensign took the piece of paper from my hand and looked at it. "I should be able to reach this frequency." She set to work.I stood there as calm as I could."This is the U.S.S. Independence with a call for Captain Jacob Stone of the Flying Dutchman." This is Captain Tiffany French of the D.S. ship Flying Dutchman. Stone no longer commands this ship." What??" I grabbed the mike. "Never mind that now. I need to speak to my son. Now." Relax. He is aboard the D.S. Hades now. What's going on here?" I need to get in touch with Jacob. Do you understand the code 'extreme emergency?" Yes." Tiffany's voice went all serious. "Patching you through to the Hades." Captain Stone, DS Hades. What's wrong?" Where are you? You're. I could tell he was not a happy camper!"What's going on here?" My car has a flat tire." I said calmly."Well," he asked, "what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"I couldn't believe that he didn't know - so I told him, "Hellooo! Those are my emergency flashers!"This one is compliments of RabbiRabbitA businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant."What is your name?"Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir"Businessman: "Lovely name ... any relation to Mercedes Benz?"Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close"Businessman: "How close?"Flight Attendant: "Same price"Absolutely clever and oddly truthful this ought to take some of the curse out of it.THE PULITZER COLONOSCOPYABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.Colonoscopy Journal:I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a.
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