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So I try to help them excel. Besides, you never know. She might be a babe, with huge knockers and a too-thin bra. She might be on her last nerve, and you could slide in under the radar, to get a date for some yummy make-her-feel-all-better time, later. You could get lucky. Not that I knew what that was like, but I'd heard guys say stuff like that.So, when I saw a woman in an orange pullover shirt, I mustered up every ounce of suave and debonair I had in me and said "Excuse me. Do you work here?"Yup. That's me. Apparently the needle for my suave and debonair tank is banging on empty. That's the best I could come up with for meeting a woman.She turned around and I knew I'd found one who needed my special brand of help. She sounded almost scared when she asked me how she could help me.She was not Raquel Welch, or Jodie Foster, or Nicole Kidman. In fact, she wasn't beautiful at all, when compared to all those women who look normal when they get out of bed in the morning, and then look. ‘I don’t know. I do know that I’m getting too attached to them. I’ve always wanted kids, but Eileen kept saying no. I think we might have made it if we had a child or two. I think she just got bored.’ Monday morning at nine, I called the Child Protective Services office. I explained everything to them and after some hemming and hawing about jurisdiction, they agreed to have me come in at eleven. Earlier, I’d called my boss to take a week off – I didn’t tell him about the kids, just that my mom was in town. The meeting took most of the day, but it came down to their not having anyone that spoke Russian. I filled out lots of forms and they took Mom’s fingerprints and the kids plus mine. They also took pictures of the kids and made copies of their birth certificates. They had a person in the Sheriff’s office they work with. His name was Joe Cates and he came by and talked with us. He was a long drink of water with hair that looked like it wasn’t sure what it was supposed to do. ‘This.
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