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Of course no explanation was needed. The marriage had been over for months by the time I came home to an empty house that day.I checked the bank accounts and found half of the funds gone, just as I would have expected from a person like I was married to. I was married but not for much longer I thought.This was the night I began praying.I prayed every night for the next two weeks, then three weeks, then a month, then six months. I prayed every day and as time went on my prayers changed into what I desired as those desires changed. I didn't file for divorce.I didn't really want it to be over. I just didn't have the energy to do it, nor did I want the marriage to end on such a whimper.I needed one last talk with my spouse to say what I'd said in all of those prayers. I prepared for my prayers being answered.I went to the streets of the city and purchased twenty grams of the strongest rock cocaine I could obtain. It went in my nightstand for future use.I went to the bank and got five. " He turned to Miss Pouty. "This bloke's dick is so small he can only fuck ants." She gave a titter of nervous laughter."At least I don't use it to bugger little boys, or turd burgle babies, you nonce." My reply was a direct hit. His face went a furious scarlet and his eyes bulged with rage. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you bastard," he bellowed.He grabbed a bottle off the table with his right hand — oh bollocks, was he ambidextrous? — then came out of his seat like a fighting bull charging into a bullring. As he got from the alcove he changed the bottle to his left hand.Phew, what a relief.I back pedalled and shouted over my shoulder. "Get the police. This man wants to kill me." Hancock was already on the phone, he must have reached for it as soon as Hodge uttered his threat; in fact due to the volume of Hodge's bellowing most of the pub would have heard him.He swung at me with the bottle, employing a back hand stroke of which Pete Sampras would have been proud. And from then on.
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