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Such coarse language from such a pretty young thing you say, eying me in a way that makes me feel like a three course meal. Sweet young virgins arent what they used to be. you add nostalgically. Im no virgin! I tell you smiling, and Im not so sweet when you get to know me either Oh my dear girl you say licking your lips and running your eyes hungrily over me Ill bet you are! I begin to wonder just what part of me you are thinking of eating when I hear the sounds of a tree falling in the distance. Relieved I say Thats the woodcutter, youd best scoot or else hell chop you to bits, you know what woodcutters are like, all muscle and any excuse for a bit of bloodshed. And where might you be headed with your basket of goodies, my little appetizer? you ask preparing to make your exit. Grannies house I tell you rather naively. She lives just outside the woods, I add. That way, I point. Very helpful you say grinning broadly, perhaps when next we meet I can nibble your pie, and perhaps I might. Call me.”I left, leaving her staring after me. I felt a little creepy dangling this proposition, but I am a nice guy, decent looking, and I would treat her very well in an evening. Not to brag, but I’ve had no complaints from lady friends about their bedtime experiences with me. And I thought the house was a good buy. It had been reduced to a point where I’d buy it, with or without Anna. But I didn’t tell her that.She didn’t call back right away. And the house remained unsold. About a month later, the phone rang. “Hi. This is Anna, the realtor.”“Yes, I remember. Nice to hear from you.”“Look, this is very awkward, but I want to meet you for lunch. Just to talk.”“Wonderful. Let’s do it tomorrow. I’ll come by your office and get you.”“No”, she said firmly, “Let’s meet at Le Figaro, a French restaurant on Fairfax Boulevard.”“Yes, I know it. Okay. Noon?”It was obvious she wanted to size me up, in a public place. If I did display serial killer tendencies, she could flee. I.
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