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"She sighed. "What will be will be." Tell me Alex did you talk to Talia today by any chance?"I heard her snigger. "Yes we may have had a chat." So it was your idea for her to disappear?" No darling that was her Idea. She is very insightful that little girl.You are so lucky to have her." No arguments there. Ok you better give me a couple of hours to getready."She chuckled. "You have an hour. I will meet you at the hotel, don't belate."I raced upstairs. I was smelly, and sweaty, it had been a long day.I showered quickly and shaved from head to toe. I did my makeup as Iwaited for my hair to dry. God it was so good to feel the moisturiser asI rubbed it in. The foundation, the scent all my senses were on fire. Ihad missed this so much. I worked as fast as I could but I was out oftouch. It took much longer than usual but I finished up with my lipstickand god it felt so comforting and right. I looked in the mirror andplugged in my hair drier. I went with a sort of teased look. At least itwas. It was weeks before I could bring myself to speak of it, weeks of me walking around in a daze trying to digest Ben’s words. It wasn’t the paralyzing stupor of my depression, but it left me similarly withdrawn and pensive. I could see everyone’s concern for me and finally arranged for Josie to spend a night with her grandparents so I could talk to Mia about it. She didn’t seem surprised at the revelation and I commented on it. ‘No, I’m not surprised,’ she told me, slightly amused. ‘Why are you?’ I laughed humorlessly. ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be – it’s typical Ben, after all.’ She was watching me thoughtfully but didn’t speak for a while. ‘What do you want to do about it?’ she asked gently. I looked at her, confusion and anxiety battling with hope inside of me. ‘Not what you think you’re supposed to want, or what you feel guilty about,’ she said slowly. ‘What do you want?’ I blinked back tears. ‘I want – I want -‘ I took a shuddering breath. ‘I miss Joe,’ I whispered. ‘I don’t know.
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