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I was thoroughly confused so I followed him, getting more forceful that he had to leave. That’s when Joe Jonas called me a bitch and smacked me right in the face. I’ve never, ever, been hit before. My vision flared white and I fell to the soft carpet of the bedroom. I’m tall - taller than Maisie by nearly a foot, and even taller than Joe by an inch or two - but Joe was so much stronger. He picked me up and threw me onto the massive bed Maisie and I share. I was still a little dizzy so I didn’t resist when he pulled some handcuffs from his back pocket and cuffed me securely to the headboard. That was when my head started to clear, and I remember frantically thinking that this couldn’t be real, that this doesn’t happen to people like me. I kept squirming and tugging and trying to pull the cuffs off. He started to speak in the most gentle, calming voice that I’d ever heard that I had to stop struggling and stay still, or I might get cut. I was confused until he showed me the pocket. The only thing in your life worth anything is your wife, Kathleen. Not only did you manage to marry up in the looks department, but also in the life partner department. She is always there for you, urging you to do new things, encouraging you when you need it. She is the shining light in the darkness that would otherwise subsume you.You return home from work. You’re exhausted. It has just been one of those days when nobody is happy about anything. All you would like to do is relax on the couch with a drink until you fall asleep. Several drinks. Many drinks.You walk in the front door. “Heya, gorgeous, I’m home.”Silence greets you.Oh, right. It’s a Wednesday, and Kathleen goes to her book club on Wednesdays. It’s really a drink wine and bitch club, but Kathleen enjoys it, so you don’t mind. Honestly, you’re not sure if there has ever been a single book read in the club.It’s up to you to make dinner so you can crash. You go to the kitchen to see what you have available.Huh. There’s a.
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