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The first words of the Hippocratic oath that doctors take, “First do no harm.” I would like to see paraphrased over the congress and senate, “First do nothing.”I looked at Steve and could tell that I had gored a sacred cow. “I’ll tell you what Steve, let’s forget this bail thing. I want to try something here. You go ahead and continue with your job, I have full confidence in your abilities, and I’ll tell you right now, you have my permission for whatever you think needs to be done.”“Ok, Matt, if you say so. I guess the first thing I’ll need to do is my usual research. Some of that is easy. Randy Clausen, for example. Randy is a politician. All DA’s are politicians, looking for an elected position. That makes them easy to predict. The only thing we need to worry about is if he gets froggy and tries to pull a rabbit out of the hat. I doubt if he will pull anything, he’s got a boy scout reputation.”“Next is Nigel St. Gaudens, the victim in this little drama. I don’t have much. Could you be any less specific?”“Yeah,” I said, simply. “I found her.”“Well you sound really excited about it,” Toby replied. “I mean, seriously.” He began to speak in a flat monotone. “No. Stop. Settle down. I can’t let you do it. Be still. Control yourself, you maniac.”“What’s wrong?” asked Dave, still searching. “Did she get fat?”“Fuck, dude!” hissed Toby. “That’s really inappropriate. And really discriminatory too,” he said a little louder, eyeing off a few woman weightlifters standing near us.“Yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes. “She put on eighty kilos which is why she’s a competitive swimmer at the fucking Olympics.”“Tsk. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Dave said, turning to me and shaking his head.“Which is why I’m using it to talk to the biggest moron in this stadium,” I snapped back.“Children!” Toby clapped his hands loudly and spoke in an absurdly bad impression of a British nanny. “If you can’t be civil with each other, I will turn this opening ceremony around and it will.
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