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I mean really honest.For you see I have this feeling that I am not who I meant to be. I havefelt this way for a long time. To be frank with you, I've had thisfeeling since I was a very young child. I would like to be... no Isense... no I think that I should've been born as a girl. I can notexplain why I feel like this but it's true. Looking at it from my pointof view, the big guy upstairs made a mistake with me when he was issuingthe body I was born in.How did that young transgendered teenager put it in the news report sheappeared in? Ah yes, 'I have a girl's heart and mind but I've been givena boys body.' Simple words you might think, but true. So I am a boy whoshould be a girl.So it's why you now find me standing in my older sister's room staringat her wardrobe. Wondering if I should be in here, wondering should Ijust turn around walk out of her room. And chalk it up it as a bad idea.No I'm going to do it; I'm going to open the wardrobe doors. I'm goingto do this; I'm going to dress. I think going slow with Ron is the right thing to do for his sake. Maybe part of today was responding to being sexually frustrated with Ron. I don’t know. I only know that I love you both.’ She continued: ‘I am so thankful that you are in my life. You made Ron possible.’ I raised an eyebrow. She then said: ‘Before we met I was steeling myself to become just another party girl out for a good time. I was on my way to being just another slut going down for shitty guys. If it weren’t for you, your love for me, teaching me what love can be, I would not have been in a state where I would have been at all attractive to Ron. You and Ann taught me: Like attracts like. Be the sacred flower and the sacred bird will come.’ Jan and I had a long discussion about continuing our sexual relationship. Janet wanted to continue, at least for a while. I asked her if she had told Ron about our relationship. She said no. I suggested that she should tell him about it as their relationship became intimate.
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