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’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog. ” Lynn jumped in.“But they are so young?” Leeann said.“How old do you need to be before you learn to be responsible? Sam? Did you give these kids an allowance for them doing nothing?”“Absolutely not! Leeann, what did you have to do each week?”“I had to cut grass or clean the basement or wash laundry.”“Right! And if you did some of the chores of the others?”“I got a share of their money.”“And if you didn’t do an assigned chore?”“I had the value of the job deducted from my allowance.”“See Leeann. I knew that my goofy little brother knew how to raise responsible kids.”“Goofy?” Leeann asked.“Oh here we go!” Sam said, rolling his eyes.“Wait! I want to hear this. Let’s take it all downstairs.” Lorraine smiled and laughed at her husband.She grabbed a big cooler of iced tea and Jerry grabbed a stack of glasses and the family assembled downstairs, surrounding the girls and moms playing Scrabble. Lorraine set the cooler on a table, that was located next to a small refrigerator in the far.
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