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I want to keep them closed forever, or at least until the communion wafers have been doled out, final hymn sung and Agnes bloody McCormac has been shunted back down the aisle on the shoulders of her loving family, with the rest of the congregation following behind. It’s too late to duck back out, find St Patrick’s For Protestants, slip in the back, offer my condolences to Billy’s wife and sons, my new bosses afterward… Isn’t it? What fancy tricks did old snake chaser Pat get up to in Ballytorr to be honoured with both churches named after him anyway? And on the same road? Mind you, this is the back end of nowhere, probably not many roads in Ballytorr at all, but still! Similar muddles must surely be common enough to warrant a visual alert of sorts out front. Bible shaped signage announcing name of deceased? Perhaps a photograph? Preferably taken when still alive. In fact definitely. As the perpetually undecided Clash are so fond of asking ‘should I stay or should I go now?’. I. . nude to the world ranging from a woman holding a vase pouring water into a fountain to figures in … perverse positions or acts.As I continued to turn around looking at my surrounding's I spotted one of the figures from the thrones standing a few feet away watching me as her hidden features began to come into focus.She was a tall platinum blond bombshell that could be easily described as a model... Porn star... no, a goddess.“Welcome to my home, my Champion.”I could barely speak as she giggled, “Who are you if you don't mind me asking?”She smiled, “I've been known by many name's and titles but you may call me Freya.”I swallowed as my throat went dry, “um do... do you mean as in the goddess Freya(Freyja)?!”She laughed, “yes your kind has known me as the Goddess Freya of love, sex, beauty, fertility, gold, seiðr, war, and death.”I stared at her a moment, “Um what do... do you want from me?”She smiled at me while taking a moment, “Like the other's I'm going to give you a method of.
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