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I suspected Elspeth would be jealous, but that was good too.We arrived at Julian's Parlor. Maggie and Millie were in, but no Sheila. Maggie complimented my look and told us that Sheila had asked about coffee places nearby. Francine had her phone out before Maggie finished speaking. It turned out that Sheila was in the same building. Francine was off like a shot. Oh boy. That left me to manage the slippery stairs alone and in heels. I did my best Doctor and simply strode down the steps. To my surprise, it worked.I was just starting to congratulate myself when I saw Sheila come around the corner with an unfamiliar woman. Whoever it was wore a great faux-schoolgirl outfit. The navy skirt had polka dots and a red belt. Her hair was done in pigtails, but with bright red ribbon. The navy shoes had three inch crimson heels. Matching it all was fire engine red lipstick. In fact...I stopped dead. Christine was dressed in imitation of a high school girl, but looked mid twenties. Damn, she was. A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy.”Craig thanked his mother and ran out the door. But something about his mother’s explanation bothered him. So he sought out his father. Dad was in the garage.“Dad,” Craig said, “the guys at school are using words I don’t understand.”“What words, son?” “Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don’t think she told me the right meanings.”“Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you.” He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.“Everything inside the circle is pussy,” he said.“Okay, Dad. Then what’s a bitch?”“Everything outside the circle.”Private LessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”“Well, what should I do?” asks the.
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