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I would drive to pick her up from school If I went for supplies. When she got into my off road truck, she looked distant. I didn’t get the smile and hug I normally get. I couldn’t quite figure out what was happening. I asked “something wrong?” Carla just replied “just leave me alone.”. Wow, I was taken by that. This went on for about 3 days. It was then I decided to take her to our primary physician to see what the problem was. She was a great physician and practiced both adult and youth. After the visit, Carla was left in the room while the Doctor and I had a talk in her office. She started out “Well, Mr. Jack, welcome to the age of puberty” and then laughed a bit. I was relieved it wasn’t physiological issued but at the same time nervous about the whole upcoming experience. The doctor told me to relax. It is natural and she will feel uncomfortable around you when that monthly time arrives. I replied back with “if I need help, will you have my back?”. She said she absolutely would.. It is the other things that have me so upset. Suddenly the Andrew Years seem threatened.When this whole Jake-Donnie thing came up, I went limp and let Donnie have her head. A woman has to do what a woman has to do, I thought. When all this talk about sharing started, I suppose I was a facilitator. It was so out of left field that I really didn't give it the consideration it deserved.For a moment I tried to imagine myself in the role of adulteress and was repulsed by the thought. It was something that would be too dangerous to our marriage, too hurtful to Andrew, and so wrong for me. But for some reason I didn't extrapolate the same results to Donnie.If I'm honest with myself, I think I understand my inner motivation. I was first. I was the one who met Andrew, who seduced him, who loved him; first. I suppose I've always considered myself to be first wife. It's selfish and I'm ashamed of myself. But it allowed me to suppose that what Donnie did outside the marriage wouldn't mean as.
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