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One day I sat next to an actual Bubba. His total lack of even the basic elements of respect for women caused me to write this satire. Keep in mind the web page is a fake. Also, Sprite, thank you for editing my work. You are a true joy to work with.)The first of Bubba's Laws on Women. "If she ain't got a dick, she wants yours."I love women. I'll look at anything with tits. Big ones, small ones, short ones; tall ones all of 'em receive notice of my roving eye. But I am not an undisciplined pig about women. I have my standards. Many feel I have a gift, and that gift should be shared with the less fortunate. This is the first in a series of instructions for you poor guys that need my help. This can also be used by my lesbian friends. While I am a guy, I don't consider women who like women much competition, so ladies feel free to use any of my tricks.First off, my kind of woman drives a truck. The problem is that the yuppies now have a truck that doesn't count. These damned SUVs are. .. ?" Susan read another piece of paper. "The inactive portal had a security block on it that has since been removed."She looked at him. "So that means no metallic objects large enough to be a weapon, or any other non metallic weapons." Good to know. What would you like for me to wear?" Nothing." she giggled."So what's with the new look and act?" I've been going to finishing school. That was from my poise class." What about the slutty seduction class?" I almost failed that one." Why?" It was taught by a prime who has a couple of children, and it's geared to seducing Cassandrian men. Since no one knows I'm a caretaker most of my answers were wrong." How so." Well, one of the assignments on the first day was to describe a seductive use of the shower. And I said that you would suck on my tits, and finger my clit and butthole until I came, and then I would suck you until you shot yummy goo all over my face and tits. I would lick that up while looking into your eyes and then I would rub.
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