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We drank coffee and he ordered me water, which I found strange but polite. When the waiter came with water, he asked me to drink it all….that I needed it. When I did, he leaned in close and said “I think you are quite interesting, and I really want to go up to my room. It is ready for you and I and I want you to piss on me”I was in shock and laughed…I asked him “Well, what if I don’t have to go?” I politely declined and he got my car from the valet…poor thing was pouting which I ignored and tried not to bust out laughing…As I related the story of my interesting “poetry to piss” coffee date to cocktoesin , he wasn’t laughing as I thought he might and asked me “Well, sounds like you missed out on an opportunity to piss on someone…are you opposed to doing that?” Being naturally submissive, it had never entered my mind. Cocktoesin then said lowering his voice an octave, “I think you should piss on him, don’t you agree? Consider it an assignment and I know you will do it…correct?” …and I. The bigger one came charging at me. "Who you callin' asshole, punk?" he said as he rushed in to the inevitable.At the last second I stepped to the side and back fisted him. He fell in a heap on the pavement. I looked over to the second guy. He was holding his hands in the air."I'm outta here," he said. He should have left when he had the chance but instead he tried to come around from behind. A spinning back kick put him next to his unconscious friend.My ex-brother-in-law looked drained. "What's this all about, Tommy?" He was visibly shaken."You put some videos up on the internet lately," I asked?"Oh shit," was all he could say.I was furious. "Here's the deal," I said. "I'm going to break your arm and then you're going to go home and pull those videos off or I'm going to come back and break your other arm."Suddenly the putz got brave."I don't think that's going to happen," he said and came at me with a knife.A couple of basic moves and he was kneeling on the pavement holding his.
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