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Which one of these damn buttons on the steering wheel do I push to answer the damn phone? Nope, not that one. Crap, that one made it louder. Ahhh, that one got it. "Hello."My 85 year old Mother is on the phone (Dad is too good to make a call or something. At least he never does. You call him and he'll talk though) "Jim. Jim did you feed the cats before you left?" Well, crap. "Is there anything we need to do at your place today? Your sister wants to go to town to see her grandchildren so she needs to know if she needs to go to your place before she goes." (My divorced sister is retired and lives with my parents now)Crap. "No you don't need to do anything at the house." Well did you remember to feed the cats?"Crap, I hate cats. "Yes I fed the damn cats." Well you don't have to use that kind of language. I just wanted to know." Sorry. Yeah I fed the cats. Just have her check things every couple of days like we talked about and we'll be fine." Well what about the cats? Don't they need to. “Oh, it’s so wonderful—picks up so much more than my old vacuum. James Dyson is a genius. I swear you’d think she was best friends with the man.”“I wish I had a Dyson,” said Annie.“Trouble is,” said Tom, “Once you’re on the dinner party carousel, you can’t get off. Each invitation has to be reciprocated and each party you throw results in still more invitations to still more dinner parties. It’s a vicious circle.”“An endless merry-go-round of idle chitchat, experimental cooking and New World wines,” I said. “Why can’t we just go to the cinema one Saturday night instead? The latest Chloë Goodman film opens soon—I’d like to see that.”My lovely wife grinned and slapped my arm again. “Yes. I’ll bet you would, you dirty old pervert.”One Week Later“Look at these houses, Mike. Aren’t they lovely? All chocolate-boxy,” Susan said as I drove through the village. “Houses like these are so easy to sell. They fly off the books.”“They’re very nice, Sweet Pea. But isn’t it expensive around here? I.
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